My Mom is that woman who has a lot of nice things and a great house. And if she discovers something she needs or wants, it’s invariably bound to be way out of my wallet’s league.
Needless to say, I dread Christmas shopping for her.
And she’s not one of those people who think that it’s the thought that counts. If she doesn’t like something she’s likely to say, “You’re right. It is the thought that counts. So what in the world were you thinking when you got me this?”
The woman doesn’t mess around.
But the gods of cyberspace threw me a bone. My subscriptions to shopping sites brought me more than just holiday deals on apparel pour moi, but led me to Shutterfly’s Christmas ornaments.
You upload a picture you want encased in a pewter frame and it gets delivered with a pretty red ribbon to go from your mail box straight on to your tree.
I got two for Mom: one of her and her girls (all of them including the bitch, Jackie) and another of her and her girls on the steps of the Widener Library at Harvard when she came down for my graduation in May. Good times, good times.
Now, will she like them?
Here’s a preview:
HAIREE: So what are you getting Mom?
HAIJIN(my sister): I have no idea.
HAIREE: I got the perfect gift.
[HAIJIN looks at HAIREE with a perfectly straight face.]
HAIREE: I mean it.
HAIREE: I got her these pewter framed ornaments with our pictures in them.
HAIJIN [waits two counts]: Can you return them?
Let’s hope that Mom doesn’t ask the same question.